are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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