I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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