I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
