i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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