You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
