where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
