I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
