I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
