Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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