I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
