I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
