so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
