If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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