just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Boobs speak an international language.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
