I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
