either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
