worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
