We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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