What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
