Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
