Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
