ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
