I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
