your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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