At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
