you guys were way drunker than both of me
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
