i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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