what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
please come you make the beer taste better
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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