AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
