that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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