I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
