i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
