she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
