You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
