think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
