I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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