I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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