"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
