Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
