Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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