Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
operation harelip BJ is a go
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
