She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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