Banned from zoo.
Again?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
