I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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