so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
