I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
