Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
