It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
