peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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