Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
