ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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