You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
